The Cross-Cultural Challenge - Part 3
The cross-cultural management course is now a distant memory, other than recently having been emailed a copy of the horrendously awkward group photo that was taken on the last day. Capturing magical moments like this in Thailand is part and parcel of daily life, although I still have no idea whatever happens to these photos as they never normally seem to appear again.
The on-going challenge of putting what I learned on the course into practice goes on. It has occurred to me recently, partly through my own experience and partly through reading frustrated accounts of other expats in Thailand, that my approach to life here might be slightly flawed.
I’ve always been a strong believer that when you’re in a foreign country, you should do what you can to ‘fit in’. I’m not talking about a complete change in behaviour but just some slight modifications to be polite and respectful, such as trying to speak a bit of the language, enthusiastically trying the food and not immediately seeking out a gang of fellow English people to drink tea/lager with. I studied in France for a year and whilst I wouldn’t say I was a fully integrated member of French society, I did have some French friends, played for a French rugby team and didn’t really feel that being a foreigner was that much of ‘a thing’.
When we first came to Thailand, I was determined not to immediately seek out a load of Expats with whom I could form a nice little protective bubble to keep me safe. As our accommodation selection was based almost exclusively on the happiness and well-being of our two dogs, we didn’t end up living in Sukhumvit, the centre of the Thailand expat world. We’re not a million miles away but our Soi definitely has a more ‘local’ vibe. I actually suspect some of our neighbours never actually leave the Soi but why would you? There seems to be no end of vans, motorcycles and old ladies on push bikes selling fresh vegetables and meat, rice, and even handbags and flipflops right outside. There’s even an ice cream man who, if you inadvertently make eye contact with as he passes, will slowly reverse back and give you a sinister look until you buy one of his ice creams.
On this basis, I thought that we would be a different breed of Expat, with a much deeper appreciation of the local culture and more integrated and accepted by our neighbours. And on some level, we have achieved this. As we are creatures of habit, and as owning dogs requires a certain amount of routine, we tend to see the same people every day. We’re now on friendly terms with many security Guards, men with whistles, café owners and motorcycle taxi men. I think the dogs are a big draw as Thai’s seem to show an equal amount of terror and fascination towards them.
Whilst this is all absolutely lovely, I think this is probably as far as it really goes. Even with work colleagues, socialising will always be on a fairly superficial level. Chris and I have attended various ‘outings’, karaoke parties, bowling and general events through work, and whilst there’s never a point where people are outright ignoring you or being rude, you never feel like you quite belong.
The reality seems to be that Thai’s expect little more of a ‘Farang’ than to show their face, sing a couple of karaoke songs and then politely make their excuses and leave. I’ve always thought that my Thai colleagues might be offended if I immediately gravitate towards the nearest other ‘Farang’ at a party, but I actually think they prefer it. The other day I was at a work conference and when I’d got my lunch from the buffet, I fought the urge to find the ‘Farang’ table and sat with some Thai colleagues. I was made to feel welcome but I’m certain they would have been happier if I’d not been there!
It’s a strange concept to get your head around. It’s easy to feel offended, especially being labelled as ‘Farang’ which seems like such a harsh word! But in Thai society, ‘Farangs’ are not seen as being at the bottom of the hierarchy, they’re not even in it! We sit somewhere near the Civil Servants in terms of level but definitely on the outside! I don’t think it’s the same as xenophobia, it’s just a view of the world that is incomprehensible to anyone other than a Thai!
So, going forward I shall be switching my Khao Man Gai and Bag of Fanta, in favour of a Full English Breakfast and a pint of Carling down the pub! And I won’t be worrying that I’m not ‘fitting in’.
Trying Too Hard
The on-going challenge of putting what I learned on the course into practice goes on. It has occurred to me recently, partly through my own experience and partly through reading frustrated accounts of other expats in Thailand, that my approach to life here might be slightly flawed.
I’ve always been a strong believer that when you’re in a foreign country, you should do what you can to ‘fit in’. I’m not talking about a complete change in behaviour but just some slight modifications to be polite and respectful, such as trying to speak a bit of the language, enthusiastically trying the food and not immediately seeking out a gang of fellow English people to drink tea/lager with. I studied in France for a year and whilst I wouldn’t say I was a fully integrated member of French society, I did have some French friends, played for a French rugby team and didn’t really feel that being a foreigner was that much of ‘a thing’.
Going Local
When we first came to Thailand, I was determined not to immediately seek out a load of Expats with whom I could form a nice little protective bubble to keep me safe. As our accommodation selection was based almost exclusively on the happiness and well-being of our two dogs, we didn’t end up living in Sukhumvit, the centre of the Thailand expat world. We’re not a million miles away but our Soi definitely has a more ‘local’ vibe. I actually suspect some of our neighbours never actually leave the Soi but why would you? There seems to be no end of vans, motorcycles and old ladies on push bikes selling fresh vegetables and meat, rice, and even handbags and flipflops right outside. There’s even an ice cream man who, if you inadvertently make eye contact with as he passes, will slowly reverse back and give you a sinister look until you buy one of his ice creams.
On this basis, I thought that we would be a different breed of Expat, with a much deeper appreciation of the local culture and more integrated and accepted by our neighbours. And on some level, we have achieved this. As we are creatures of habit, and as owning dogs requires a certain amount of routine, we tend to see the same people every day. We’re now on friendly terms with many security Guards, men with whistles, café owners and motorcycle taxi men. I think the dogs are a big draw as Thai’s seem to show an equal amount of terror and fascination towards them.
As Good as it Gets
Whilst this is all absolutely lovely, I think this is probably as far as it really goes. Even with work colleagues, socialising will always be on a fairly superficial level. Chris and I have attended various ‘outings’, karaoke parties, bowling and general events through work, and whilst there’s never a point where people are outright ignoring you or being rude, you never feel like you quite belong.
The reality seems to be that Thai’s expect little more of a ‘Farang’ than to show their face, sing a couple of karaoke songs and then politely make their excuses and leave. I’ve always thought that my Thai colleagues might be offended if I immediately gravitate towards the nearest other ‘Farang’ at a party, but I actually think they prefer it. The other day I was at a work conference and when I’d got my lunch from the buffet, I fought the urge to find the ‘Farang’ table and sat with some Thai colleagues. I was made to feel welcome but I’m certain they would have been happier if I’d not been there!
Farang is Not a Bad Thing
It’s a strange concept to get your head around. It’s easy to feel offended, especially being labelled as ‘Farang’ which seems like such a harsh word! But in Thai society, ‘Farangs’ are not seen as being at the bottom of the hierarchy, they’re not even in it! We sit somewhere near the Civil Servants in terms of level but definitely on the outside! I don’t think it’s the same as xenophobia, it’s just a view of the world that is incomprehensible to anyone other than a Thai!
So, going forward I shall be switching my Khao Man Gai and Bag of Fanta, in favour of a Full English Breakfast and a pint of Carling down the pub! And I won’t be worrying that I’m not ‘fitting in’.
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